It’s going almost as well as it should be going

I never watched the movie, and I probably will never watch it, but “Everything Everywhere All At Once” is a good way to summarize my life in the last week or so.

Everything happened at work, everything happened at my personal life, everything happened with my personal health. It’s been a riot.

You know those times in your life when you just look at your life and it’s all just that meme where everything’s on fire

I have no idea what show that is, but hell if that isn’t me. I mean, it’s not that everything is terrible, it’s just that everything is happening all at once and I haven’t had a chance to sit back and rest for like ten months or more. Yeah, actually probably back two years.

Like, yesterday I was talking to a coworker and she said “you sound tired and sick” (I have had a really bad cough for a few months) and I told her that it was nothing, just that I needed a vacation because I haven’t had time off in about two years.

But like… I’ve lived in stressed out exhaustion for over two year. Damn. I mean, it’s ok because I got two promotions in that time, I finished a ton of books that I’m about to publish, I’m about to start my own publishing house, and I’m making more money than I even thought I would in my life.

But damn, I seriously need a rest.

In fact, just today I was trying to get some words done on Blood Song this morning in bed, enjoying the fact that I don’t have to be sitting at the desk, and she was like “don’t you ever rest?” which was a surprise because I thought I was resting, but she was right. I wasn’t. I’m still working. And I’m exhausted. And it’s definitely showing up on my wordcounts. I was doing 2k a day easily, but when things got extra hard at work, that went down to 900, and then to 450. I was back at 2k yesterday, and I’m hoping to get 2k today, but damn. I’m seriously feeling it. And even now, getting to 1k even while having the whole day to myself has been very complicated.

It has also not helped that I have to endure the fact that there are constant noises of hard machinery right next to my room (for the time being, I have to live behind a wood workshop) and the smell of solvents, and the constant annoyances from all of my family all the time, all day, every day.

To be honest, thinking about it calmly… It’s not that things are going wrong, because a ton of stuff has gone right. Far more than I had ever expected. But it’s more like I’m just trying to take on too much with zero rest and it’s really starting to affect me.

So, I think I’m gonna try and plan a vacation, or maybe just escape off for a few days to a Santa Fe high rise like I did last time. Damn, those three days on my own really did a marvel for my mental and physical health.