Cool, cool, cool

So, remember what I said yesterday about how it was going to be so, so, so hard to delete my fics?

Well, it wasn’t.

Yes, I am as surprised as anyone. It not only wasn’t hard or painful at all. I was actually having fun halfway through there. Like, some of those stories I hated, but the great majority I really enjoyed. I mean, yeah, a lot was cringe, but my stories always had a kind of soul that I loved. And some of them were silly and cringe and so much fun that they still made me smile when I read through them. Like, for real, Sweets Bitte was a racket. It was bad writing, but so much fun.

And really, in the end I just felt so free, it was wild. I’m very excited right now, it feels like I have lost a lot of weight that had been holding me down. I mean, I haven’t deleted all my fics. I’m still working through the most important ones that is hard to part with personally, and the ones that I gifted to others. There’s around 44 left to delete I think.

The ones that are very important to me… I’m not sure. I think I might end up leaving them up. Even now they still get comments and I really think that they are important to people. And here I’m referring only to Family Issues and Living With Myself… Although it might end up being just Family Issues, I don’t know. I mean, Living With Myself doesn’t have as much emotional depth, but I think it was way more popular. Of course, with people who just make wikis about it and recs about it, so, not like I can see it. While seeing how popular Family Issues is is very easy given that it has more than 200 comments. But that’s about it for the ones I really care to leave up. The rest don’t really have as much emotional weight for me.

The issue with the rest is that I gifted them to other people and that’s always difficult. I think I might just contact them all and like, tell them that I have the backup and can send it over to them on a pdf or something. Yeah, I think I might end up doing that. If time permits, of course, because the job is getting crazy. Like, good lord, I love it but it sometimes gets a little too busy this season XD.

As for the writing, I’m having a lot of fun actually. One of the new characters in SoulShattered2 is turning out to be far, far more interesting than when I first started drafting his participation in the story. It’s one of those things that just keeps me going back to writing again and again, discovering new people and new experiences through those people. This guy is turning out to be one of my favorite characters, and damn if Broken Innocence doesn’t have a bunch of my favorite characters. Especially captain Arjun. And it happens in a train! Much fun to be had.

I still have to finish BloodSong, but that’s ok. I’m feeling much more energetic now and really have a renewed strength to take on that one last scene that I have to write for it. And after that it’s all downhill with line edits and so on.

Also, while rummaging among my different fic and original writing documents (because I made a backup of everything I deleted, I’m not gonna just throw everything out to the ether), I came upon some ideas that I had for Vael’s world. Stuff that happens way back. And I didn’t want to lose the idea again, so I made a quick summary of what I wanted and left it aside with the other ideas for the upcoming books that I have.

But then at night I had a bit of free time and I tried to draft a bit more of what I was thinking of, because I am an expert at forgetting everything that I have written or want to write. So, I drafted a few scenes, about four or five, and that gave be a good idea of what I wanted to have happen. But this story is sort of… different structurally. So, I had to draft scenes by cycles and that helped a lot to define my ideas for it. So much so that I got through about 2/3 of the book and the story was looking fine. Predictably I got stuck right before the climax, but I was so surprised at how fast the drafting went. Now, granted, it was more character arcs, plot arcs, and so one. Very big idea kind of things, so it will take a while to turn all of that into actual scenes to be written but I am very excited at the possibilities. The characters are really cool too. No one has any names up to now, they’re good guy and bad guy but I don’t need them. I think they would distract me anyway, as they always do. I’ll probably look into names around the beginning of next year when I actually start serious work on this. I got a few titles for the story, but none of them might survive, as usual. Hell, I have an extra hard time remembering the titles for SoulShattered because I came up with them at the last moment to give to the cover designers, and I think I might end up in the same situation here too.

But that’s a problem for future me! Right now I’m having a lot of fun playing around with the ideas.