Bad Turn Again

So, my health went down the gutter again*. It seems like I got some weird bug from my mom. We’re not sure if it’s some kind of throat infection (common in us) or just the normal flu. It’s not too bad, but I’m exhausted and I can’t stand to eat anything. I’ve just been drinking tea with a little milk and lying in bed.

But I do appreciate this time in bed, because I’ve been able to go through some files, do a bit of writing, and plan for some stuff. I definitely have to work harder on the Soulshattered 1 rewrite because it’s going much slower than I thought it would be, and while there is a lot of rework to be done on the earlier parts of the book (about half of the book needs to be heavily rewritten, while the rework on the second half is much less), but mostly I think that it’s been because I cannot focus as I should. I keep being distracted, lethargic, and working very lazily. It’s been kind off annoying having to rewrite this book, even though I know it is absolutely needed, and I kind of get annoyed and subconsciously try to avoid the work because I feel like it has already been done and I shouldn’t do it again.

It’s basically me fighting against myself again and again. And it gets worse since I haven’t feel so well lately with the stress and the problems with my health. But I guess the only way forward is to try harder again and again. It’s not like I can just lay back and not finish anything, especially when I liked Soulshattered 0 so much.

Also, I’m thinking that I really need to define publishing dates for all my books. I mean, I had some of them, but then I didn’t expect the workload at the job to be so high during the first half of the year, and I of course was not ready to deal with it and with all the issues that came up with my family.

But god, I know that if I’d been more disciplined and tried harder, I would have definitely done a better job all around, and I hate how disappointed I feel at my lack of progress.

So, I think I’ll have to define some more realistic publishing dates and see what can be done with the time and strength that I have. Any progress is better than no progress, and I shouldn’t let myself get down just because I’ve been going so slow.